Parenting Arrangements

1. Begin with the child, not a percentage

Under the Divorce Act, a parenting order is based on the child’s best interests, with primary attention to safety and well-being. The law directs attention to the particular child: their needs and stage of development, relationships, history of care, views where appropriate, culture and the parents’ ability to meet those needs. Family violence and relevant protective or criminal orders matter.

Source: Divorce Act, section 16 ↗

There is no automatic entitlement to equal parenting time under the Divorce Act. A 50/50 schedule may fit some children and families. Other arrangements may fit better. The right explanation is about how the plan meets this child’s needs, rather than how evenly it divides a calendar.

Source: Justice Canada: Parenting arrangements after separation or divorce ↗

This guide explains the federal framework. Provincial or territorial laws may apply in your situation, particularly where parents are unmarried. Check the law and any existing order before treating a proposed plan as something you can put into effect.

2. Separate time, decisions and communication

Parenting time concerns when a parent is responsible for the child. Decision-making responsibility concerns major matters such as health, education and significant activities. The schedule does not, by itself, answer who has authority to make a particular decision.

Major decisions may be made jointly, by one parent or through an allocation of particular subjects. The workable choice depends on the child’s needs and the parents’ circumstances. If joint decisions repeatedly stall, writing “we will agree” leaves the central problem unresolved. Safety concerns may make arrangements requiring close cooperation unsuitable.

Source: Justice Canada: Choosing parenting arrangements and decision-making responsibilities ↗

For each important subject, ask three separate questions: who decides, what information must be exchanged, and how a disagreement will be addressed. A dentist appointment, a school change and an emergency do not necessarily need the same process.

3. Test the schedule against an ordinary week

Draw out two normal school weeks and a holiday week. Add work shifts, commute times, care arrangements, activities, homework and sleep. Count handovers as well as nights. Then ask who can carry out each task, including when a child is sick or a parent is delayed.

These are examples for discussion, not age-based prescriptions. A schedule that looks balanced can still create long journeys, repeated missing belongings or unreliable care. A less even schedule can still preserve meaningful involvement if the practical details support it.

4. Make room for age, development and the child’s voice

For a young child, examine familiar care, sleep, feeding and the practical experience of transitions. For a school-aged child, examine school travel, homework, friendships and activities. For a teenager, include study, employment and increasing independence. These are questions to investigate, not rules assigning a particular schedule to a particular birthday.

Look at the child you have, including any disability, medical or developmental needs. The ability to manage equipment, medication, appointments or predictable routines may be central to the arrangement. A qualified professional can help where specialized needs are difficult to assess.

Listening is different from asking a child to choose a parent. Invite them to describe what is difficult and what helps. Avoid repeated questioning or treating an unhappy handover as a complete assessment of the other home. Ask about an appropriate way for the child’s views to be heard if they are disputed.

Source: Justice Canada: Children’s needs and perspective ↗

5. Decide where precision will help

Flexibility works best when both parents understand the baseline and can reliably agree on changes. Where timing, holidays or responses repeatedly cause disputes, more detail can reduce the number of decisions that have to be negotiated again.

A useful drafting approach is to specify the ordinary schedule, then provide a clear way to agree to exceptions. If no exception is agreed, the ordinary schedule still gives everyone an answer. Have the wording reviewed for your circumstances and for consistency with any order.

Try reading the proposal on a difficult day. Does “after school” identify the location? What happens on a school closure day? Does a special holiday override the usual weekend? The point is to make everyday responsibilities understandable, not to write a rule for every imaginable disagreement.

6. Address safety and change directly

Threats, coercive control and violence require a safety assessment, not simply a more detailed calendar. Disclose relevant concerns and orders privately to the professional assisting you. Supervised exchanges, supervised parenting or other protective arrangements may need consideration in the particular case. A general website cannot assess what is safe for your family.

Review dates can help parents discuss school changes, work schedules or how a child is adjusting. A review date is not permission to disregard a court order. Changing an existing parenting order involves legal requirements. Get advice before altering the arrangement unilaterally, and seek urgent help where immediate safety is at risk.

A move that affects parenting may trigger notice, consent or court requirements. Do not treat an agreed holiday, a move within a city and a relocation as the same question.

Source: Justice Canada: Moving after separation or divorce ↗

7. Build your parenting plan discussion list

• Ordinary weekdays, weekends and exact exchange arrangements.
• Holidays, school breaks, birthdays and which schedule takes priority.
• Transport responsibilities, delays, cancellations and school closure days.
• Major decisions, routine decisions, emergencies and information sharing.
• Medication, equipment, school materials and belongings between homes.
• Contact with the other parent during longer periods apart, where appropriate.
• Travel documents, proposed travel and advice about any move.
• Activities, costs and a process for requesting agreement before commitments.
• A practical communication method and a proportionate dispute-resolution process.
• A review process that respects existing orders and the applicable law.

Bring two possible schedules to a discussion and explain the needs each one addresses. Identify the facts that could change your view. Keep the financial consequences visible, but do not choose the child’s schedule simply to reach a support threshold.

For a deeper look at arrangements across childhood, explore Two Homes, Every Age and the other DivorceNexus books. The books section identifies titles that are still in preparation.